GEOCACHING - The Six Emotions Of A Beginning Geocacher

What is geocaching?  If you are like me, you more than likely have a vague idea, but might not be sure.  At least,that is how I would have described myself yesterday.  Thanks to a good friend taking me on my first geocaching experience this morning, I now have a much better idea.

Quick disclaimer.  I have been geocaching for a little over 12 hours as of this writing.  That being said, I have completed 4 geocaches in that 12 hours.  I found two of the four.  One I could not find because someone stole it.  The final one I could not find because it was snowing, and honestly, I lost interest around the time my fingers started to fall off.   If I continue at this rate, in the next 12 months I will have completed almost 1,500 geocaches, which, in my opinion, makes me a pretty hardened authority.  

Lets briefly cover the six stages/emotions of a first time geocacher.  

1.  The Indiana Bond Emotion

Who is Indiana Bond you ask?  He is the baddest ass explorer spy to ever kick the seven moons of Uranus.  Step one, you download an app and start to look at maps and read about your pending adventures.  You anticipate battling hordes of nemeses on your way to an intricately hidden bauble.  Every James Bond and Indiana Jones movie you have ever seen pops into your head.  Die Hard too.  Not sure why Die Hard.  Probably because Christmas was last week, and....Die Hard.  

2.  The "I Am More Adventurous Than You" Emotion

This is an ugly emotion, I admit, but after experiencing  the Indiana Bond emotion, you are going to be pretty fucking excited.  You are going to tell everyone in that "No big deal, but you are sitting home and I am going on an adventure" voice, that you are now a geocacher.  You may  be doing it on your own or with a friend.  Either way, you are the coolest, baddest mother on the planet, and you want everyone to know where you are going.  Maybe because you are afraid that one of the barbarians you will be battling will leave your blood soaked corpse in a ditch, and you want your mom to know where to find you.  Not me.  I just had a case of the assholes and wanted everyone to know whats up. 

3.  The "Creepies"

OK, so two EPIC emotions, and then we fall on number three.  This seems to be a feeling you have to get used to, like being the guy in line with a wife who coupons.  My first geocache was in a park near a ball field and a playground.  Seems to make sense.  Believe me, though, when I tell you that  being a thirty-seven year old man and the only person at a playground at 9:30 in the morning on a snowy winter day can be a bit of an uncomfortable experience.  You are either a drug dealer, a pedophile, or a geocacher.  Either way, shave your pencil mustache and leave your weed at home to avoid any odd confrontations.  Throughout my other three geocaches, I found myself creeping around  a Rite Aid parking lot, sneaking around light poles, and hoping the police didn't light me up with a taser.  

4.  The "I Should Be Video Taping This" Emotion

For posterity.  You will leave your car, and begin hiking in the direction that your phone tells you to.  Over the river and through the woods.  While there may be no waves of gunmen awaiting your approach, you may encounter a pricker bush, and that can  be pretty dangerous too.  Around fifty feet from the drop, your app will ding and let you know you are close.  You will then begin to search for your treasure, pen in hand, ready to log your accomplishment.  You were a bad ass today.  Nice job.  

5.  The  "Disappointees"

I am not sure how geocaching  works in the rest of the world, but in upstate NY (in the four experiences I have had) the "Abundance of Riches" you were expecting to find typically end up being someones old Vicodin bottle with a rolled up piece of scrap paper, some spare change, and a few marbles in it.  Just the same, you write your name, log that you were there, and get ready for the next one.  

6.  Back To Excitement

Despite your recent case of the disappointees, you are excited for the future of your new hobby.  Maybe the next cache you find WILL have Blackbeards Treasure in it.  Maybe you will get to roundhouse kick a zombie, or explain to a kids mom what you are doing in the park by yourself walking around in the woods.  

All things being equal, this was a pretty exciting thing to do and I am ready to keep trying.  If you have interest in hearing more about my adventures in geocaching, please comment below, and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE.