So finally, I decided to try it. Believe it or not, FINDING Figgy Pudding is harder than you would think. There are things at the store called "Christmas Pudding" but when you look at the ingredients....NO FIGS. Maybe it's some kind of conspiracy.
I am not going to go into the recipe too much. I picked this recipe from AllRecipes.com, mainly because it had a Five-Star review and it had the word "moist" in the description.
Lets talk about where I "deviated" from the recipe and some quick notes though:
1 - The Figs: The recipe calls for dried Calimyrna Figs, which, from what I can tell, are the ones that come on the rope in a donut shape that Wegmans apparently only carries for the week before Christmas. Sunmaid Mission Figs will have to do. That's ok though. The Sun-Maid looks trustworthy, and also looks like someone who would make figgy pudding. I tasted them, and they taste like figs. While in Aisle 12, I also checked her credientials with Uncle Ben, Ms. Butterworth, and Aunt Jemima. Her story checks out.
2 - Figgy Activity - Chopping figs is a pain in the ass, but this was the hardest part. Then you add them to the buttercream (ick) in your pot and heat everything up.
3 - Mix Everything - This is the part where you mix all the ingredients. First eggs, then you stir in some melted butter and our hot buttercream/fig mix. NOTE: Do not get the hot fig mess on you. It closely resembles napalm. Also, the recipe calls for dry bread crumbs. When you pour dried breadcrumbs in, you are going to feel dirty and maybe a little violated. Not sure why. Maybe because breadcrumbs aren't something you typically use in cakes, etc. Don't use the Italian seasoned kind. Finally, you will stir in the orange zest. The recipe calls for one tablespoon. For lay people, that was like 11 fucking oranges. And I still ended up with half a tablespoon of orange zest and about half a tablespoon of my thumb.
4 - The Cook - The recipe calls for a "tube pan." That is sort of like the dish that angel food cake comes in. I thought I had one, but I didn't, so I used my daughters "Princess Dress Cake Pan." Worked great. Take your concoction and bake it at 350 degrees for the remainder of your natural young life (2 hours) then let it cool for about 10 minutes before taking it out. Yes. It looks like a boobie.
5 - Cut Into That Bitch And Enjoy Some Christmas Spirit - When choosing a knife to cut Figgy Pudding, I went with the one pictured below. My reasoning? Because it is what I envision that the Sun-Maid lady would have cut this puppy with. A butter knife didn't seem to do it justice. Plus, my kids thought it was silly.
Conclusions
1. Figgy Pudding is not pudding. It is cake. Or bread. Or something else. If Bill Cosby tried to market a frozen piece of this, it would be a cake pop. Not a puddin pop. Either way, I probably wouldn't take it from him.
2. Figgy Pudding is amazing. It has EVERY flavor that you didn't know went together. Breadcrumbs and orange marmalade? What?!? Yes.
3. Figgy Pudding is something you should absolutely try to make yourself. If I can do it, you can do it.
Thoughts or comments? Put them in the comment section below!
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for writing))
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